‘Rhei with Ra’ – Day 184/365

The hardness does not ever fully go away. That’s all I wanted to tell you.


I want to tell you something. But I don’t want it to be a big deal or evoke anything other than you knowing a little bit more about me and these paintings.
Maybe you think this looks like it’s easy because every day (so far, touch wood) another little one pops up on your feed. But this isn’t easy for me. It’s very very hard. It’s inner voices. It’s anxiety. It’s fear. It’s an expectation. It’s proving people wrong who told me I couldn’t do this. Every time I sit down to paint, each one of those characters sits down with me. Honestly, my chair is very crowded. What makes one day different from the next, is that on some of them, those guys are all shouting really loudly and they make me feel small and incapable. Other days, I am stronger and calmer and braver and I can just shush them and somehow tap into my flow. .
But the hardness does not ever fully go away.
That’s all I wanted to tell you. Because I guess I want you to know, to maybe feel less alone in your own facing of your ‘loud voices’.
Let them sit at the table, and accept that maybe they’ll have an influence on how you do your thing. But just do it anyway, okay?
I found a great phrase yesterday that I’ve pinned onto my studio corkboard ‘Panta Rhei’ – which means ‘everything flows’. It’s Greek. No, literally. .
I’m not sure how or why – but somehow it helps me. When I say it to those voices, they don’t yabber quite so loudly.
. .⁠
⁠🎨my abstract interpretation of a photo on @unsplash

(artist retains all rights to print reproductions of this painting)
Inspiration image: common license photography

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Posted on

July 3, 2019