‘Giving Death’ – Day 210/365

‘Giving Death’ – Day 210/365

Mud today. Just so much mud under my lotus.⁠
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I have this paper stuck up on my studio wall – it’s an excerpt from the tale of Skeleton Woman in Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I’ve reread it probably a hundred times and turn to it whenever I become deeply aware of mud in my spirit. These words always loosen the mud that’s stuck to my shoes. They always unearth that one thing I’ve been clinging to for far too long and help me find the courage to turn to it and say “I’m not taking you with me on the rest of my journey”. Since this is where I’m at today I thought I’d share them with you in case you’re confronting some of your own mud.⁠
.⁠ – Untangling Skeleton Woman – ⁠
What must I give more death to today? In order to generate more life? What do I know should die but am hesitant to allow to do so? What must die in me in order for me to love? What not-beauty do I fear? Of what use is the power of the not-beautiful to me today? What should die today? What should live? What life am I afraid to give birth to?⁠

If not now, when?⁠
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🖤⁠
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Ps: this is the very first miniature that contain mars black pigment – I never paint with it because I find it so.. well lifeless, preferring payne’s grey. But it felt necessary for today and in taking down another ‘never’ for myself I feel a little lighter already.

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